10 Reasons I Hate Orphans –
1-
They are incredibly difficult to sell. I mean it
– Really hard!! People love babies – they will buy babies until the cows come
home, - but Orphans, they want to test drive them, and kick the tires, they
want discounts, and warranties. It is really hard to move an Orphan – and when
I look at the stock of orphans, there are always more waiting to be sold. You
never feel like you are on top of it with Orphans.
2-
They make your real children look bad. That’s
right! You thought you were perfectly happy with your own kids – You know, the
ones with all the advantages, and privileges – the ones you made from scratch –
but then the orphans show up, and they act like everything you do is so
wonderful, and they are grateful for
every little thing – and they clean up after themselves and want to just spend
time with you – and suddenly your children look quite dreadful – with their
complaining and whining – and not appreciating all you do for them.
3-
Orphans make it really hard to believe that your
problems are real problems – It’s terrible – you have a bad day because you got
stuck in traffic or someone cut you off at the grocery store line, or maybe you
can’t go out to dinner because money is tight – And then the Orphans show up,
and they have never been to a grocery store – and their idea of gourmet food is
having a hamburger – and they eat ½ of their food – and save the rest for
later, or their friend who may not have any food. It’s dreadful – it puts your
whole life into perspective – and make you look petty and small.
4-
Orphans make you question your spending
priorities – no really they do – That morning cup of gourmet coffee, or the new
pair of cute shoes you just had to have, just seem silly compared to saving a
life – It is horrible – You come home to your closet full of clothes and you
look at the 10 black shirts you have – and you start to think – “oh no, I may
have wasted a ton of money – that could have gone to save a life” This is one
of the worst ones – because it makes you worry that you may not be a good
person.
5-
Orphans make you question your friendships –
It’s crazy – You thought you had a ton of friends that would always be there
for you through thick and thin – and if you were to go through a divorce, or
get in a car accident – they probably would be – but just start talking about
orphans – and good gravy you find out what the hearts of the people around you
are made of – and in some cases – you may find out your friends are not worth
having.
6-
Orphans are exhausting - Orphans make you talk
to all sorts of people that you have never met before – and what is worse – you
find yourselve having really intimate and authentic conversations with these
new people – It is absolutely exhausting
being so vulerable and real all the time – and then those people say
things to you like “Oh, Jennifer – you are doing so much” – This makes you feel
even more tired because you know about
the 10 black shirts and the expensive haircuts.
7-
Orphans are expensive – I mean really expensive.
You would think that they would be free or cost less than regular children –
but no, orphans have processes, and paperwork, red tape up one side and down
the other – To get the orphans you have to travel to countries that aren’t
known for their sunny beaches, or site seeing desitinations, that require you
to stay in those countries for who knows how long – and that can cost a fortune
– and even worse be fraught with the unknown.
8-
Orphans have terrible teeth – It’s true, they
are just terrible, full of cavities, and crooked – sometimes they are stained
brown by cigarette smoke (because cigarettes make you feel less hungry) or
black tea (the caffine tricks your body as well) Apparently orphans don’t get
regular dental care- so if you have genes that are less than stellar in this
department – Well too bad for you.
9-
Orphans are addictive – They might be up there
with herion. Really they should come with a warning from the surgeon general.
Something like “Warning, Orphans are dangerous to your heart, and can cause
obessive thoughts of placement, and fund raising – and should be avoided at all
costs” I was blissfully unaware prior to
hosting my orphans – I feel like my orphans may have just been a gate way drug.
10- And
this is the most important one – Orphans break your heart!! They do!! They get
right in there and break it right open. Your heart physically aches, and no
matter what you do, it will ache forever, because like I said in #1 – There are
always more orphans. So you are left with a broken heart, that you go around trying
to mend by doing everything you can think of to save just 1 life. And you hope,
that although your efforts will never be enough, that they will make a
difference.
I know that I am starting to come off as a
multi-level marketeer. You know who they are in your life – because you used to
be friends with them, and then they bought in to some MLM scheme that is going
to save your life with vitamins or tonics – and you just need to recruit 3 of
your best friends to share this opportunity with. I know, I know – I dropped my
friends who do that too – because suddenly you have to explain why you don’t
want to get rich quick.
But here is the deal on this one. I am not
trying to get you to sign up for anything. You don’t need to tell your friends,
or go to meetings. In fact most of the time – you can ignore me, or ignore my
posts, and when I start blogging about something new – I promsie to let you
know – but today, in this moment. I am helping people I have never met, raise
money for children I don’t know – because it is the right thing to do, because
my heart has been changed, because I promised, and because if I can make a
difference – I have too!!
Jenn, I love this post!! So well written! Today something sucked me into the Truax Family's adventure.
ReplyDeleteAfter I read about your Shoes for Cinderella and this post, a thought occurred to me: I wonder if we could get someone like Cheri Call, Carmen Rasmussen Herbert, or the Piano Guys to do a benefit concert? And if it was through the Fairy Godmother Institute, admission could be a pair of new shoes. What do you think? Do you have any connections with people that could draw a good crowd for a good cause?
Molly - That is a tremendous idea. I must be honest, I am quite literally flying by the seat of my pants. I feel personally responsible for these kids. Olena (from the blog When you wish upon a star) never would have found her family - if I had not blogged about her. I am in the shower, or driving in the car - and I think, what can I do next? what can I write next? and then I try my best to do what comes to mind. This idea about the shoes came to me because I have at least 3 pairs sitting in my closet, and I figure everyone has a pair or two. I know this is a difficult time of year to fund raise - because people are already feeling overwhelmed by all the gifts that they "have" to buy - so I thought if I give people enough lead time - we might do alright with this. But I am open to trying anything!!! Thank you for your kind words!!!
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